As America turns 250, risk meters are still working Clio

This weekend, America turns 250, which means everyone will be celebrating in the most American way possible. We’re all for the traditional celebrations, but let’s face it, it’s hard to completely turn off the internal risk meter. So, with that in mind, let’s talk about some of the risks some of us may have to deal with when celebrating our country.

(The Star-Spangled Banner and God Bless America are played on repeat…)

Now that I think about it, what could possibly go wrong?

Just because someone in your neighborhood is taking a grill out of the garage for the first time since 2015 doesn’t mean there’s going to be a problem there. I mean, they’re probably using lighter fluid from a 10-year-old charcoal bag. How bad would it be if half the bottle leaked into the charcoal they put on the grill because they thought the bag would make it easier to start. It would be even more interesting if they decided to light it up in the shadow of the eaves.

Some of you will gather at the lake and spend some time on the water. A cool breeze, the calming hum of the twin outboard engines, and the delighted screams of the water skiers, tube riders, and people pulling the rope when Uncle Roy “accidentally” started the engine when the rope came loose. I’m sure it wasn’t the sound of a dislocated shoulder or someone wondering if that tube would stop flying and go back into the water.

Of course, many of us live in patriotic states where you can buy fireworks from people who rent circus tents and put them in their parking lots, and are offering buy-two-get-12-free deals on Roman candles this weekend only. Who wants to go to a park or lake to watch a professional fireworks display designed by someone who is trained and insured, when you can go out to the backyard and watch the neighbor kids aim Roman candles at each other, wave fireworks like lightsabers, and play a game of Dynamite Chicken?

Now that I think about it, it might have just been a dangerous weekend. I want you to play it as safely as possible while maintaining its 250 years of fun. Stay safe and check your insurance policy before a fuse blows.